However, his character suddenly changed. He began to get angry and frustrated in class. He was finding it difficult to concentrate and this was effecting his grades. His class teacher was aware that there were difficulties at home, so she asked me to talk to him.
He loved them both, but he didn’t like his dad’s new girlfriend and her son. Archie believed he couldn’t tell his dad what he felt as his dad was so loved-up and Archie felt he had been pushed to one side. He also felt awkward talking to his mum about it, as he didn’t want to upset her either.
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
Because of the way boys are socialized, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. Men are taught not to feel, not to cry and not to find words to express themselves because this would be in the confines of a socialization, as being unmanly. He would spend time with me once or twice a week and through talking, drawing and coping techniques his negative mood started to shift. Just because men aren’t adept at expressing their feelings doesn’t mean they don’t feel and feel deeply. Men may convert one feeling into another and they may convert stereotypically feminine feelings, such as sadness or vulnerability into feelings like anger or pride.
I continue to believe that if children are given the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams!
In the healthy development of children, particularly children in circumstances similar to Archie, we must search for new and creative ways of supporting interpersonal relationships and strengthening the positive reinforcement of emotion, against stereotypes. This can be found in the ways in which, families carry out the daily activities of their lives. This factor is essential, especially when it comes to divorce and separation. It’s time we changed the stigma of keeping a stiff upper lip and accept that big boys CAN, SHOULD and DO CRY!
The author of divorceseparationcoach.co.uk and a wide variety of inspirational & helpful blogs, to aid you in getting your life back on track after divorce. In addition to your personal coach, her own experiences will provide a unique and considered insight, into the things you can do to keep positive and motivated.