Broken Trust: Finding A Way Back to Yourself

“Until you can allow your own beauty, your own dignity, your own being, you cannot free another. So… work on yourself; have compassion for yourself; allow yourself to be beautiful and all the rest will follow.”

– Ram Dass

Betrayal is the act of breaking trust or loyalty, especially by doing something that harms someone who believed in you. It often involves deception, disloyalty, or revealing secrets, and can occur in personal relationships, friendships, families, or even between nations or organisations.

At its core, betrayal is powerful because it violates the expectation of safety and mutual respect that trust creates. That’s why it can feel so painful; it’s not just the action, but who committed it and what it represents.

But the deepest wound isn’t always about them.

It’s about what betrayal does to our relationship with ourselves.

You start to wonder:

How did I not see it?
Why didn’t I walk away sooner?
How can I ever trust myself again or anyone else again?

The quiet fallout of betrayal is that it shakes the foundation of self-trust.  It makes you question your instincts, your memories, and your ability to make good decisions. It leaves you feeling emotionally unsafe in your own mind.

That’s what makes healing so complex. It’s not just about letting go of someone else’s actions; it’s about repairing the relationship you have with yourself.

Rebuilding trust is not about forgetting. You don’t need to forget what happened. You don’t need to pretend it didn’t hurt.
You don’t need to leap into a new version of yourself overnight.

You need to start listening to yourself again. Gently, without judgement.

Finding your voice again is part of rebuilding self-trust. After betrayal, your inner voice can feel muted, drowned out by self-doubt, guilt, or the noise of other people’s expectations. But your voice is still there. Start small. Speak up for what you need, even if your voice shakes. Say what’s true for you, even if no one else agrees. This isn’t about being loud, it’s about being honest. The more you speak from your truth, the more you reconnect with the version of you that’s been there all along, waiting to be heard.

So, where do you begin?  I set out below three small ways to rebuild self-trust:

1. Practice Micro-Decisions

Every time you honour a small choice, such as what you want to eat, who you say no to, and when you rest, you reinforce: “My needs matter. I can trust what I feel.”  Stand in your truth and speak up.

2. Track Your Intuition

Reflect on moments when something felt “off,” but you brushed it aside. You did know. You were sensing the truth. You just weren’t allowed to act on it at the time. Reclaim that wisdom.

3. Speak to Yourself Like a Safe Person

What would you say to someone who had been betrayed, doubted, or dismissed?  Decide to speak to yourself like a safe person.  Be gentle with the words you choose. Treat yourself with love and respect.  Talk to the part of you that doubts, that tries so hard to be “good” to others.  Offer that part a whisper:  “Thank you for trying to protect me.  Thank you for wanting me to be safe.  But today, I choose something new.  I choose myself”.  Say it to yourself every day. Out loud, if you can.

A tender truth is that you didn’t fail because you trusted someone who hurt you. You were loyal. Hopeful. Human.

The real work now is not to never trust again; it’s to trust yourself first. Because when you do, you stop needing other people to define your value. And that’s where freedom begins.

So let’s start celebrating the rediscovery of your authentic self, so that you can BLOOM: Bravely Letting Out Our Magic.

At Polly Bloom, I believe that healing from emotional abuse isn’t just about surviving; it’s about reclaiming your voice, your joy, and your unique light. This is your time to grow, flourish, and bloom into the person you were always meant to be.

Much love

Polly 🧡