The Impact Of Covid 19 On Relationships
The Covid 19 outbreak has had a dramatic effect on all our lives. This includes relationships with people in our community, family, home life, and in the work place.
We have had to change the way we see each other in our friends and family ‘bubble’ safely over the past 6 months. For most, we’ve found ourselves spending far more time with those who share our homes, whether it is family, housemates or both.
For some, this set up is continuing because of furlough, employers encouraging staff to work from home or there are those who have been made redundant, so they have no choice in the matter. Having much closer contact than usual can feel stressful, and even unbearable. We all need our own personal space and being together 24/7 without downtime for personal hobbies and interests, puts a huge strain on any relationship.
Uncertainty of Covid 19
At a time when most of us face uncertainty, we need extra patience and understanding. Life becomes like a pressure cooker… ready to explode, depending on the person. Bottled up anger and frustration will turn into resentment. Relationships during the pandemic, are even more prone to these things. We have been told that we need to stay at home, but for some of us, staying at home can be unbearable and even dangerous! Divorce during covid, can be even worse. Make sure to get the time alone you need, whatever the situation.
After coronavirus, lockdown has slowly eased. Gyms, salons and cinemas have begun to resume business. The question is, how have we dealt with our relationships during covid and now? If your partner has underlying health issues and you decided that you wanted to go out visiting friends or, if you haven’t visited your boyfriend/girlfriend while they had covid 19… all these decisions may have had an impact.
Avoiding Conflict
- Don’t stop communicating. You can unintentionally stonewall your partner by avoiding interaction. Not being present by choosing to do something else whilst your partner is talking to you, will in turn make your partner feel that they are not being heard. Making the effort to demonstrate that you are giving your partner, your full attention will avoid further argument.
- Stop accusing your partner of being the problem. If you throw out accusations, it puts your partner on the defensive and people on the defensive say and do things they don’t mean and that are not productive. Make the conversation about your own feelings rather than your partner’s actions. This is a more compassionate way to communicate. Use “I” statements, not “you”. “I feel unappreciated”, or “I feel that I do everything around the house”, etc… This avoids conflict so that you reach an understanding.
- Tone is so important too. Don’t yell or use sarcasm, as this shows contempt. Rolling your eyes is another form of communication which is unhelpful! Learn to listen and think about your body language.
- Re-living the past by bringing up old mistakes & not having a general specific complaint. Let go of the past, it prevents you moving forward and can manifest worse outcomes in the future.
Consideration
There are questions that need to be addressed. Communication and consideration is paramount, especially relationships during the pandemic. Covid 19 can teach us all a lesson in listening to each other and understand how we are feeling. Be respectful of one another. Be present and pay attention to the other people in your life. Don’t be distracted by technology, work etc. Share tasks around the home, give yourself as much space as possible, but understand that you may need to give the same courtesy. Set up a daily routine/rota as to how you work with each other.
Above all, we need to remind ourselves that social distancing is the most important in combatting coronavirus and if we are to see a way out of this awful situation, we all need to be considerate, respectful and cherish our relationships during covid! Like with everything else, relationships require constant nurturing and I difficult times even more so.
Divorce Coaching
A brief overview
With divorce coaching, we acknowledge that separation is a process that takes time. For this reason, I invite clients to book in blocks of 6, 8 or 12 sessions. All it takes is an initial a conversation to recognise the kind of help and support you need to get you through this difficult process! Check out how it has already helped others here or schedule your FREE 30-minute discovery session and explore ways to make the process more bearable.