TO EACH PARENT:

It is important that your child(ren) understands and are able to express the feelings they have about your divorce or separation. It is easier for most children to draw their feelings rather than verbalize them. The confusing feelings about divorce can be very stressful for most children. Some children may internalize their feelings which can possibly result in headaches, stomach aches or behavioural problems. What a child thinks is as powerful as what actually happened. Be gentle if you see misconceptions and correct them gently, at the appropriate time. Find ways to help them learn to cope with the change and loss and to continue loving and trusting the important role models in their life.

If you are struggling to express yourself and communicate with your children or co-parent with your ex-partner, then I am here to help. I’ve worked with children for eight years in a junior school. My role was Learning Mentor. In that time, I mentored children struggling to comprehend what was going on at home. Many were walking on egg shells and felt it was something that they had done wrong to cause their parents split and that mummy and daddy didn’t love them any more. As you know, this is far from the truth and having an adult to confide in who is not emotionally involved and impartial, can help with the healing process.

You didn’t set out to be a single parent. You set out to be the best parent you can be and that shouldn’t change. Think about what is best for your child. Children are often more balanced when they grow up feeling loved by both parents and whatever your differences are as adults, put them aside for the sake of your child(ren) and lead by example.